Relfections

     Now that I've been divorced for quite some time I look back and think about the things I would tell myself during that critical time of complete chaos.

Top 10 things I would tell my newly divorced self

1. It's okay to be scared. I remember looking at my beautiful children and my barely year old son and wondering if I had just made a huge mistake by filing for
   divorce.  It's a scary thing. I have a great friend that reminded me to just take it one day at a time.
2. Your life will change..Some parts for the better and others not so much. However, every day I came home exhausted was met with matched joy from the feeling of peace within my home.
3. You are stronger than you think..Seriously, who knew?
4. You will build a support system with gals and gents comparable only to the likes of Fort Knox.
5. You will eventually feel like having sex again..and again, Enough said (welcome mom).
6. You will learn to forgive. One day you will wake up feeling a little less bitter than the day prior and that pattern will continue. I know it's hard to think at the time, but time really does heal MOST wounds.
7. The kids will thrive! Divorced parents, moving, losing a family dog. They are the strong ones. I am constantly in awe of their ability to adapt.
8. There will be some mishaps..The thing to remember is to take it all in stride. Yes, my goal of moving to a new home was put off by almost a year due to some sort of IRS issue (as in I forgot to file). Yes I locked my keys in my car or in my home more than the average person (first name basis with tow truck guy) and yes, it took me longer to repair my credit than I had initially hoped. We still woke up every day happy as a family of four in our duplex. Life marched on.
9. There will be love, it might just be a different kind than expected. I love my kiddos and I've even learned to love myself in the process. Anything or anyone else would just be an added bonus at this point.
10. Eventually looking back you will see that you nailed it..Basically like a GD Boss :)

    

     

Mom Confessions

Because it's Sunday....

1) 6:30 am Saturdays. Because my kiddo's get up so early often my 2 year old usually will wake up early on the weekends as well. Thankfully, getting him a sippy with milk buys me about 20 more minutes, barely. However, after that final 20 minutes when I go in to get him out of his room he greets me with an adorable HI MAMA and somehow it's all worth it.

2) Going to church. This can also be turned into more of a selfish act when you consider that church is an hour long service and there is daycare provided...and it's free. It's a single mom's paradise. You throw in the fact that I'm greeted with acceptance, advice and wine and it's basically a no brainer.

3) Running. Again I can turn this into a confessional moment. The baby weight is melting off. It's great, truly. People always ask what I'm doing. I reply oh..running. Then comes the do you like to run question. No..I don't like to run, really? However, sneaking out to the garage to spend 45 minutes on the treadmill while the baby is sleeping is ALMOST like a vacation. It's me time, with music. If someone would of told me years ago that endorphin release would make me feel less crazy (key word feel) I would of started much sooner.

4) Sitters. I have the best sitters. I get it. Some moms are super catty and somehow their sitters never measure up. I completely feel the opposite. They're like family. One sitter I actually spend holidays with. These ladies are truly the best of the best. Ok..one might be a little more whole foodish more than me but I'm completely thankful for it. I occasionally try to get her feathers ruffled by bringing in donuts, she loves it. I'm glad these ladies are on my side because it truly takes a village.

5) Ribbons. Yes, everyone deserves a ribbon, but only the WINNER deserves a blue one. I was raised in a competitive family. I can't help it.  I'm all about making sure everyone has their special moment but I also make it VERY clear to my kids that they really need to bust butt to accomplish things. They don't have to be the best but if it turns out they are the best at something...there better be a blue ribbon for it. Period.

6) Spankings. I don't do it often but occasionally I've had to. My kids know I mean business if I start threatening with a butt whoopin. Sometimes all the time outs in the world just don't cut it. I'm ok with it.

7) Spiders. Unless the spider is poisonous or jumps out at us like a squirrel monkey, he/she is not getting killed. Oddly enough we escort them outside, after we catch it that is. It's confusing for some. My daughter had a friend over who casually took her shoe off and pounded a spider and she was met with a united NOOOOOO from my family. Everything has it's place and job. A spider is no different.

8) Helping hands. Our Target family trips consist of my son pushing the cart, my daughter distracting the baby so I can grocery shop quickly. My son put the groceries in the back of my car, my daughter walks the cart back to return it. She also usually will take my Starbucks out of my hand to put in the console while I'm buckling the baby in. My older son will often start the car..if it's hot out to get the air conditioner going. When we get home my 3 little ducks all help unload the groceries from the car. I realize that we work together like a well oiled machine to get things done in our lives. The best part...it's USUALLY without me having to ask.

9) Bath time. I routinely will try to sneak away during a weekend day and try to shave me legs. Alone. End result. The baby in the tub with me, driving cars down my calves while I try to shave. Somehow this becomes a family meeting. My daughter will come in to "chat" (yes the curtain is closed) and will talk to me about her week, or the latest drama on the school bus. My older son will then also miraculously appear and chime in about mine craft and how he did this or that, and what his ranking is..etc. It's a small bathroom that all 4 of us are crammed into. And while I realize that this is SCREAMING privacy talk (which I've had) I also realize that these moments aren't going to last forever and I cherish every one of them. And for one very SMALL fleeting second I sometimes even think...We could totally get a few more kiddos in here :)

6 MORE DAYS

Summer is coming to an end and although I've enjoyed my children this summer like most "normal" moms I too am doing my own countdown in my head. It's known as the how many more days until school starts up again countdown. 6 days. Then, the quiet will return. God willing. Love my children...but they have a serious case of ants in their pants. They are just as much ready for school to start as I am. Pretty much, or they will be...when I drop them off at their schools and take off at the speed of lightning.

The Rundown....
Friday: The day started with my son freaking out because enrollment into middle school is only for 3 days, 2 hour time slots. We're talking like 8-10 am. The freak out being I was already scheduled to work those days. He looks at me sternly at tells me that this is something I cannot miss. Seriously, who does he think I am?
Saturday: My daughter tells my parents who are over for dinner...It was so bad today. Mom made us help her pick up our rooms and THEN she also made me help her stir dinner, twice! My dad gave me the REALLY look? I just shook my head...
Sunday:  All hell broke loose when my 2 year old son peed on my daughter's backpack. My potty training method is zero pants while we're at home. This method of potty training is not for the faint of heart. One time our old dog peed on her other backpack. I guess this was the straw that "broke the camels backpack" so to speak.
Monday: My son confirming that he needs yet another appointment to talk to his counselor regarding the starting of middle school. He can be a little high strung. Less roll with the punches if you will. However, I called and made yet another appointment so he could get some things off his chest.
Tuesday: My daughter found out her teacher...Oh no!!! More craziness. Not only is her bestie not in her class but I'm not a fan of her teacher. I politely call up to ask if I can please switch. In my opinion all teachers are doing great work. This one however...um, lets just say is more close to retiring than not and I think she might have lost some patience along the way. They let me!!! It's a summertime miracle!! They instruct me to call back early next week for an update.
Wednesday: School supply shopping. Lots of parents all dodging in and out of isles looking for the right items. A ridiculous list really. Does my daughter really need hand sanitizer, a protractor, 24 pencils (sharpened all be it) a scientific calculator and 4 black expo markers? That's just some of the items. It can get a little nuts. Especially when you take the children with.
Thursday: Mom...do you think I should maybe just go to a private catholic school? No dear, I think you're going to be fine. Change is hard but everyone has to change schools. To be clear if you went to a private school it would still be a new school.  Is it ever going to end?
AND THE BEST DAY EVER FRIDAY: Schedule pickup day for my son. Everything was going well. Yes, I had to pay a late fee from last years lunch. 55 cents, fine. Yes, schedule days were Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Again, some parents work long hours whatever. So we get home and we're looking over his schedule and on his gym classes it says GIRLS GYM CLASS. My son has a name that perhaps could be mistaken for a girls name too. It could easily go either way. He looks at me and hands me the paper and dramatically asks me to call and get this fixed pronto!!  I explained that I didn't think there was an on call service for middle school scheduling mishaps but agreed that there totally should be (giggle giggle). At this point he pretty much went into straight up panic mode. My poor baby. I assured him that I would deal with this first thing on Monday, come hell or high water. Why couldn't he inherit my fun crazy genes instead of the nervous nelly ones from his dad?  My daughter on the other hand is all me. She looks over from playing her kindle and says..Do you know who my teacher is yet? No baby..no I don't. I'll find that out on Monday too (during my emergency phone call regarding the gym class thing). She casually looks at me and then goes back to playing her game and says...and I quote "whatevs." And that is what actually made my Friday. Love her :)

 

Why I love the south......

We are back from a much needed break!! We went to the beach. My family does really well there and my kiddos are actually very spoiled. The south has a mixture of the greatest people and constantly keep my comedic mind running. Keep in mind that I just got back from a straight through 15 hour drive with my mother. The fact that we are both alive speaks volumes as to how well the trip actually went. Here are some excerpts from the trip:

1) Little girl looks over to my daughter whom she is playing with poolside and casually asks.."Do you wanna ride my daddy like a dolphin?" I guess she felt bad because my daughter did not have her daddy around. Sad but true. My daughter politely shook her head and said No thanks. I had to work REALLY hard to not comment on the fact that I was pondering the offer myself :)

2) This story happened to a friend of mine, but it is too funny not to share. Apparently when you order a skinny latte at the local Starbucks in the south they make fun...Again sometimes we overlook what we take for granted daily.
Can I have a skinny vanilla latte?   
A what? Did you say skiiiiiiny? You all here what she said? She said skeeennny? What the heck is that?
Oh..that's a latte with skim milk.
Oh girl...We only have whole milk. We ain't got no skiiiiny nothing.  Chuckle, (Yankee's)
Blush...um, okay, whatever you have will work.

3) In Alabama there is some code that you have to start out almost every sentence with the word Hey. And you cant just say it like we do here in Misery. Like...Hey guys. It's more of an excited screaming yelling thing. Hey!!!! You all see that funnel cloud? Hey!!!! Did you want cheese on your burger. Hey!!!! You all know how to upload videos to yooouuu tube (my son's favorite).  This is way different even for a slightly more than loud Midwestern gal herself. Either way, its an attention grabber.

4) Lastly...when people can tell that you are not local they are so genuinely nice. My mom and I had to call the  guy who we rented the condo from twice. The first time to get the wifi pass code which was conveniently posted on the fridge. Second to figure out how to work the damn 6 remote system entertainment center. Seriously, he should rethink that whole situation from just a general standpoint. It gets a ton worse when there is only women involved...Comparable to a mission freaking impossible.   Nicest guy ever...talked us through the whole how to get a DVD to play thing. Anywhoo...where I'm going with this is no matter who you talk to there if they know you are not local they will say at the end of every conversation, in passing, whatever..."You all having fun?" This is what kind of sells me on moving to the south. Kind people through and through. Cajuns on the other hand are a whole different kind of deal, entirely.

P.S......HEY!!! You all have a good hump day :)