Let's face it...If you're on my friend list it's because you truly are a rock star. That's right, I don't let many people into my inner circle. I like to say I'm choosy about whom I spend my time with. Not a lot of time for bullshit, no offense, it's just the way I roll. I have this really great friend. We are very similar and we became fast friends during college. She's the kind of girl who would back me up during a bar fight that I started!! Or participate in crazy over night stake outs to catch someone lying to me. She is on my short list of my bitches who are worth their weight in gold. I was reading over a text conversation that we had the other night, and I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. Here's how it went. Let me preface with YES I take a sleep aid called Ambien. I used to have terrible night terrors and wake up in a complete state of panic. I have been taking a sleep aid for years and it helps out tremendously. HOWEVER...It kind of has a short time period before it takes effect to where I sometimes say funny things, FB or text people without having any memory of doing so. Whatever..it works for me. My friend used to take it as well but decided that the side effects were too weird for her. Rookie. So she is used to my weird late night texts.
Me: I have developed a huge irrational fear of lions this past year. I'm contributing most of it to animal planets show fatal attractions, but let's also keep in mind that Mr. No is a Leo.
Her: Have you already taken your Ambien? You're never going to run into a lion.
Me: Perhaps. I hear what you're saying but I am so scared shit less by them I won't even go to the zoo as of late. I'm not taking any extra chances.
Her: I'm pretty sure being a Leo doesn't make one an actual lion or activate some sort of magical lion powers or anything...
Me: Whatever, I think I have PTSD related to either lions or astrological signs of lions. There's also all those you tube videos of lions trying to paw their way through the glass to get to babies sitting on the other side of the glass. Seriously..trying to eat them. They kept showing random clips like that all summer on the news and laughing. Unreal.
Her: Ok..We went to the San Diego zoo and they're doing this animal ambassador program where they take cheetahs and raise them with a dog buddy. It's supposed to tame them. They take the cheetahs on walks with leashes around the zoo. It did freak me out a little. Bizarre.
Me: Exactly...All apart of the big cat spectrum. And by the way...those dogs are fucking dead. It's just a matter of time before those cheetahs lose their shit and turn..Plus they can run 90 mph. They are SOOOO dead. MEOW.
Her: They're supposed to turn them into BFF's. I don't know.
Me: Whatever..Just like when that lioness mom fostered that orphaned gazelle. She was all smiles and happy and they were all...Oh it's so cute..she loves him so much. And she did..Until a week later when she freaking ate his ass. I'm just saying.
Her: Bitch lion...Seriously?
Me: I know...right?
I don't know why this made me laugh so hard the next day. Probably because I didn't have very much memory of the entire conversation. I also find it really hilarious that she just completely rolls with my crazy, without even missing a beat. You know what they say..Crazy bitch birds of a feather usually flock together. Bottom line..I'm okay with that label and the best part is that she is too.
On a separate note...I'm not ready to give up the fear of lions...I'll keep you updated though if it happens to change. Don't plan on it, it's not happening. True story.
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