This week there has been some real DB interaction. I mean..pushing to a whole new level of irritation on the Mr. No standpoint. During these times, I look for clarity with humor. It helps, tremendously. One time I remember specifically had to deal with a trusted friend and her now..ex boyfriend. He's been an ex for a while. He takes jackassery to a whole new level. However, hindsight is 20/20 indeed. My friend has her shit together, and pretty much always has. I don't know how she managed to fall for this guy. He had the personality of an amoeba. I clearly, have no room to talk..that is besides the point. One night after they had broken up she asked for my help in a insane..Dixie Chicks type of plan. No, not Earl had to die..less law breaking on many levels, but a humdinger for sure. Let's do some background info. This boy..yes I said boy was 25. She had caught him lying to her for about the 50th time. This time, it included pictures, which of course he tried to deny even when he was caught with his hands in the cookie jar. He brought special to a whole new ballgame..field if you will. I'm not trying to sound like a nutso femi-nazi bi atch but seriously, she was and is way out of his league..Always. I think she fell into the "I'm going to fix him category." Jobs later, minus health insurance taking substance abuse and lying to a whole new level..I think she was finally done. His loss..She clearly is a rock star, super attractive, witty, intelligent girl, who would do anything for me. So, in her revenge she wanted to get him where it really hurt. Being the grown up that he was..we went straight for the X-box. Conversation and details as follows. Her: Do you want to help me out? I'm going to misplace his X-box for an extended period of time. Me: Of course..You know you don't have to ask me twice. Her: Ok, he will be here in an hour to pick up his stuff, I will bring it over now. Me: I'm in. So, maybe we didn't really think this through too much. It would have been better to hold it for ransom, but again..Who the hell was going to pay that shit? Even though we didn't take it to the extreme level we could have the results were still AWESOME. He came over to pick up his things (X box) really, let's be honest. He was all...Where's my X-box..to which she replied, what X-box? We kept this going for at least 18 hours. That is the amount of time it took for him to have a complete melt down and lose his shit. No...not because he was losing his awesome girlfriend, not because he was jobless and she had been paying for his expenses for over 6 months..He lost it my friends..over an X-box. He threatened to call the cops, we played along for a little bit, but eventually we gave in and handed over the 12 year old in a 25 year old man body's video game..but it was rough, and we both loved EVERY minute of it. I don't care if it came across as evil. This man put her through hell and back and he is lucky I didn't beat him down myself. I threatened it, he didn't seem scared..Whatever,...he's never seen me rumble, obviously.
Conclusion: We all fall for idiots. The key is to not make the same mistake again...or times four. Don't judge.
PS- I also don't care if this post makes me or her sound completely freaking crazy. Bottom line, We absolutely are. True Story.
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