Yes. You read the caption right. That's right. Haunted Houses. I don't know what possessed me to think I was in my early 20's versus my current age of 35. I think it was somehow related to some great friends and a minor amount of peer pressure. Whatever..It was fun, sort of. Ahhh. Haunted houses take me back to my younger days of going on dates in my late teens. Boys who worked feverishly to afford to take me to Denny's post night out. I think some of them might have borrowed their mom's credit card to pay. It's the thought that counts right? The eventful night in question started out with margaritas. Perhaps, this is where I went wrong. 1 margarita, 2 margarita, 3 margarita's later (do not judge, I was not driving) all 4 of us piled into the car to head down to the super scary haunted houses area. Not only is it scary inside but it is also a little bit scary outside as well. We stopped to use the restroom at a local gas station. This is where I proceeded to ummm...trip UP a curb. Curb check if you will, with my ankle. Totally busted my ass. Awesome. At the time, there was no pain and it was fine. Again, hindsight vision is always 20/20. However, we were on a mission. Girls out without kiddos or doggies on a Thursday!!!! That's right...MID WEEK. We stood in a VERY LONG line for the first haunted house. Alongside us was about 200 pre-teens, and maybe a few teens. Oh, and one very lonesome lost looking dad, who clearly had drawn the short straw on the parenting front. I felt for him..I really did. During the line wait the usual happened where the weirdo guy comes around with his rat (no one is afraid of rats..hamsters are the real biters, duh) and proceeds to put him inside of his mouth. Sir...I have seen you do this many times, since I was 16, I'm over it. My friends and I bitched about not having a flask and having to wait in line. Finally we got to go in. It was SCARY...Like peeing our pants scary. By this time I was still hobbling on the now visibly swollen ankle that I was ignoring. We were all screaming and falling down (not due to tequila this time) and squinting our eyes shut. We made it through the first one finally. At the end there was a long slide. I'm just gonna throw it out there..straight up. The dad DID NOT go down the slide. Chicken exit...what? I felt like I am as old as him, and my rear went down it. That's right. Rock star. The second haunted house was much easier. No lines, almost closed, very late. Their peeps were much more aggressive. Once proceeded to pop my friend in the mouth. All I can say is that it's a good thing it was dark because she was about to lay an ass whipping on him. Then, they decided to call us bitches and say and I quote.. "What's up golden girls, isn't it a little late for you?" Oh hell no..this is when we all 4 got a little nuts. Eeerrrp..whoa, suddenly we weren't scared. We all turned around and gave him a BIG PIECE of our minds. Asshole..seriously. I was already having a hard time keeping Alabama in check (she knows who she is.) She was about to get straight up gangster, and Sweeps..well, she grew up in the hood so the fact that this man did not walk out holding his balls in hand was a miracle. Thank God for the sweet one in the group. I don't care what she says..she is a angel..truly :)
Moral of the story goes like this. One x-ray and 2 weeks later, Rose is still limping on her swollen ankle. It was fun..REALLY REALLY fun, but I got my ass handed to me that night, for sure. Next year maybe I will be the parent who's in line with my older son..I mean I doubt it, he has zero interest, so strange. Let me just clarify though if I am that parent there with all the kiddos...You can bet your butt I will be taking the slide down. CHICKEN!!!!!
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