Son: Mom, can we talk about something?
Me: Sure hon, what's up?
Son: Do you date people sometimes when we're gone at our dad's house? Me: Uh...what?
Son: Well, I just wanted to make sure that you are safe? I just need you to promise me that you won't get into the car with any guy who drives a van. You never know if they are in some sort of underground drug cartel.
Not only was I completely caught off guard with his line of questioning but I was also really confused about how he didn't know me well enough to understand that I would totally recognize someone who belonged to a drug cartel. I was thinking...duh, he knows I've seen Traffic. After I clarified my position on stranger danger and my ability not to be persuaded into vans I did some reassuring to his little ego regarding my safety. Apparently this is a thing young boys do with their single moms. My friend's son mimicked almost this exact conversation with her. He's a little less anxious than my son so he left out the part about the drug cartel. However, he did proceed to ask her a few things about her dating life. Our silly children...If they only knew how tired we were after working such long shifts that mainly what we want to do is come home and be in our PJ's by 8:15 and be able to watch a whole episode of DATELINE: Real life Mysteries without falling asleep. They would understand that while we try to squeeze time in for dating the reality is that our lives as moms are just so centrally focused around them that our "dating life" isn't nearly as exciting as they imagine in their heads. I think a lot of it is testosterone and they're growing taller than us and they feel the need to protect. It's very sweet. Truly
Conclusion: The apple doesn't fall very far from the tree because there's a ton of other things I could add to the "not date" list. Boys named Norman. Boys who have 3 or more cats. Boys that can out drink me in girly drinks. Republicans...I mean my list is forever long. But instead of sharing my list with him the big reassurance ticket winner was this...Me: Honey, the only reason I go out with boys ever is mainly to get free dinner. Rest assured I'm home in time to watch Dateline, and then I winked at him. Without even missing a beat he replied....Yeah, You haven't missed that show in a long time :)
Yep...he's my son.
